Lady Secrets by Keltie Knight & Jac Vanek & Becca Tobin

Author:Keltie Knight & Jac Vanek & Becca Tobin [Knight, Keltie & Vanek, Jac & Tobin, Becca]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Harmony/Rodale
Published: 2022-09-20T00:00:00+00:00

JAC: SELF-LOVE IS A SCAM

I don’t love my body. I know, I know, that’s a super controversial opinion that really goes against this whole “self-love” movement going on right now. But I don’t. And I’m sure you, my lovely reader, don’t love your body all the time either. And it’s okay to admit that. Because loving yourself is not fucking easy. Since childhood, we’ve been bombarded with messages that trick us into creating toxic relationships with our bodies. We grew up in a society that taught us to obsess over our *imperfections* and constantly compare ourselves to others, which created a perfect breeding ground for low self-esteem, eating disorders, and body dysmorphia. We grew up in a society that literally profits off of our insecurities and self-hatred. Add in social media, Photoshop, and face-perfecting filters, and you’re basically taking one step forward and two steps back until the day you die. So, if you don’t unconditionally love your body every single second of every single day…congrats! You’re normal. You’re just another victim of brainwashing by the beauty industry. And to be honest, it will probably take a lifetime to unlearn that trauma that society has inflicted on our self-worth.

Let’s use cellulite as an example. For over three decades, during the most impressionable and formative years of my life, every single magazine and commercial and advertisement and woman in the world has told me that cellulite is *bad.* Do you really think that seeing a few body-positive posts in my mid-thirties is going to rewire my brain and erase all of the nasty connotations I have regarding those innocent little dimples on my butt? Even though my brain knows that cellulite is completely normal (as in, over 95% of women have it), to this day I still have a negative visceral reaction when I see my imperfect legs in the mirror. Multiply that disdain by every other *flaw* I have (real or imaginary…thanks body dysmorphia), and I’m constantly stuck in this hopeless loop of self-loathing and feeling lesser than.

Sometimes it feels like “self-love” is another oversimplified and overused buzzword that has lost a lot of its meaning along the way. At its very core, I get it. At the end of the day, when everything else fades away, all we have is ourselves, and we need to like the company we keep in the empty moments. And listen, I actually do really like myself. I think I’m a decent person, I am good to the people I love, and I treat everyone with respect. But that doesn’t change the fact that I have been manipulated by the powers that be to have a super fucked-up relationship with my own meat suit. So seeing #selflove carelessly thrown around all over the place kind of feels like slapping a tiny Hello Kitty Band-Aid on a massive, gaping, blood-squirting-everywhere wound. Sure it’s cute and colorful and sparkly, but it’s just a distraction from the pain and confusion hidden underneath. And seeing other women embracing

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